Sunday, November 29, 2009


Have been going for a pumpin' walk with my iPod every evening in order to seem energetic and buzzing for my audition on Thursday. Has had remarkable effect on waistline and scales. Who would've thought that exercising helped weight loss? ... Where've I been? Anyway, weight is headed down again! Yay!

Wednesday, November 4, 2009


Hiya, weight-loss fans/addicts/losers-in-the-good-way, 

I have decided to support Movember this year by signing up as an official Mo Sista.   

During Movember (once known as November), men put down their razors for 30 days and grow a moustache with the aim of raising funds and awareness for men’s health – specifically prostate cancer and depression in men. The role of a Mo Sista is to support the Mo Bros in their life – brothers, boyfriends, Dads, uncles, cousins, husbands – and help them to raise funds. 

What many people don’t appreciate is that close to 3,000 men die of prostate cancer each year in Australia and one in eight men will experience depression in their lifetime - many of whom don’t seek help. Facts like these have convinced me I should get involved this year and I am hoping you will support me as I try and raise funds. 

To support me and the Mos in my life, you can either: 

•    Click this link and donate online using your credit card or PayPal account 
•    Write a cheque payable to ‘Movember Foundation’, referencing my Registration Number 123243 and mailing it to: Movember Foundation, PO Box 292, Prahran, VIC, 3181.

Remember, all donations over $2 are tax deductible. 

Movember is now in its sixth year and, to date, has achieved some pretty amazing results by working alongside men’s health partners, The Prostate Cancer Foundation (PCFA) and beyondblue: the national depression initiative. Check out further details at:

To find out more information on Movember, check out

Thank you in advance for supporting my on my Movember journey as a Mo Sista. 

Pamela Andrews

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Losing weight isn't always easy

Two friends have recently confided in me about their own weight-loss troubles, and it's been interesting. In both cases, I can see that their food addictions stem from emotional eating, and I can draw similarities to my own case. Food is absolutely a comfort thing for me. If I feel sad, angry, withdrawn, lost, unloved -- food calms me down. Nothing terrifies me more than not knowing where my next meal is coming from. Isn't it weird? You wouldn't think that people could be addicted to food like others can be addicted to cigarettes, alcohol, etc. -- whatever the vice, it can be scary. Makes one wonder what can be done to work on it. Really and truly, I suppose the three of us need counselling through it, one of my friends in particular. I'm actually planning to go back to my hypnotherapist to try hypnotherapy for weight-loss -- he's renowned world-wide for hypnotherapy, and I've had some great successes with him in regard to performance perfectionism anxiety.

I have been quite lazy with the Points Manager on the Weight Watchers website and as a consequence have more than likely been going over my points allowance for each day. I've been so busy (and away) lately that I find it such a HASSLE to have to update EVERYTHING I eat in a day -- which probably means that I'm eating too much, maybe! Geez, though. I'm trying to keep it updated currently, but yeah. Need more motivation to use it. I wish somebody else was doing WeightWatchers with me, but nobody is. My friends have pulled out of it. Too much money for them to justify not using it. (Fair enough.) You'd think, if I needed motivation and company, that I'd go along to the weekly weigh-in sessions but I don't have time. I do have friends who are doing it but they're not doing the online version. It's up to me to motivate myself but it's tricky.

Another thing that I've found that sucks about dieting is that it can be really hard to eat well when you're running really low on money. Hello, instant soup. And what bollocks is it that full-fat milk is actually a helluva lot cheaper than 2%-fat milk? Seriously unfair.

Anyway, we trudge onward, do we not? I weigh in this week at 108.3kg, which is not great - I'm going backwards. I haven't been back to pilates or actively been doing any exercise (apart from a little walking) so I can't complain really. I really need to book in to pilates and get going again!

Just a note, too, re: Magza Szubanski. I'm so proud of her for losing all that weight! She's down to 85kg, and I think she looks really foxy. I wish I looked as good as she did. Oh well. Here is a current picture of myself, by the way - for the record's sake:

That's my gorgeous friend Bryony on the left, and me on the right. I recently went to visit her in Sydney, and this is us standing in front of the Three Sisters in the Blue Mountains of NSW. Gorgeous!

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Enjoying the diet

Do you know, I managed to have a rocky-road ice-cream AND a glass of chardonnay yesterday! All without going over my points limit for the day... though I was running late for a meeting at work, and was pleasantly surprised when they handed me a slice of cheesecake to celebrate somebody's birthday, which I then ate in lieu of lunch. Actually, it's a flippin' miracle that I didn't go over my points system yesterday, though admittedly there's something to be said for eating cheesecake for lunch...

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Welcome to Bec!

My best buddy Rebecca has joined WeightWatchers!

Somebody else to share the dieting woe with!

This is me (top), Jess (middle) and Bec (bottom), taken about two weeks ago at my sister's 18th.

Also, I just cleaned underneath the space bar on my laptop and apparently haven't clicked it back in properly because it's now a pain in the ass to press...

Sunday, July 26, 2009

Ah, Reese's.

Oh, wow. The last month has been a total blur of busy busy busy and needy needy needy. I have been sick and completely poor, and chomping nothing but medication and chocolate. Seriously. I was given a lot of chocolate for my birthday, and when you haven't got much money to buy real food, well - Reese's peanut-butter cups start to look very appealing.

I am, however, pleased to report that I haven't put on a single kilo. Yeah. I know. What the hell? Weird... Anyway, I'm back on the bus. It's all good. Reacquainting myself with my plans.

I bought a few books while I was away in Melbourne, one of which has turned out to be a dating self-help book. I didn't realise that at the time when I bought it. Mega whoops. But it's hilarious! Maybe I'll reinvent my personality while I reinvent my body. Yeah. God knows it's inherently flawed. My personality, I mean, not my body - but that's flawed, too. Flaws everywhere! Gosh.

I was looking through a friend's wedding pictures, and saw a picture of a very large woman in a strapless dress. It has reaffirmed my firm belief that large women should not wear strapless dresses. Ever. And I never will. Oh dear...

Sunday, June 21, 2009

How (k)needy of me...

The things I do for singing.

As though it wasn't bad enough that I have to go on a massive food and exercise thinger, I have to fix all my broken body bits too.

Bad posture + old injuries + new injuries + stiff body
Bad singing.


Now, I've been doing clinical pilates for a little over a year now. I started going after I completely axed my back (sneezing, whilst bent over to pick something up - never do this, it's retarded) and happened by chance to be booked into Lansdowne Physiotherapy for an Alexander Technique session anyway. I discovered the delightful Elke, who has shown me the error of my ways. I have happily been going to the physio studio most days for clinical pilates ever since.

However, recently, an old, OLD injury of mine flared up. The Knees. Have I discussed The Knees already? God, they're so retarded. Out of seven possible structural problems you can have with your knees, my orthopaedic surgeon told me, I have four of them. FOUR OF THEM. Basically, my knees used to dislocate all the time. And it was well sucky. It hurt a lot, and I ended up having two lateral-release arthroscopies, to encourage the outer tendon muscle things to stop yanking my patella out of its groove every time I turned sideways. (My legs just twisted in sympathy as I typed that. I have serious psychological issues about my knees now.) Anyway, anyway, anyway, my left knee (which has always been the weaker of the two) recently flared up as I was pushing myself to go harder at pilates.

So I booked a separate session with Elke, and we decided that I needed orthotics to correct my posture in order to do some strengthening exercises for my knees, as my current postural stance and the fact that my knees are knock-kneed wasn't helping things.

Six-hundred dollars later!

I have two pairs of orthotics. Regular ugly orthotics, and court-shoe ugly orthotics. I elected to get two pairs because there is no point in me correcting my daily posture if I'm not correcting the posture that I have in court shoes when I'm performing. That would be nonsensical and rather pointless.

Today, I had my first session with Elke and with orthotics. Holy shit. The orthotics are magical! All of a sudden, my left knee could bend further than it could before, all because I feel, from my hips to my toes, that everything was in proper alignment. Moves that previously left me gasping at the sharpness of the pain were suddenly accessible to me. I am gobsmacked. Even Elke was impressed at much the orthotics seemed to be helping me. They are amazing! They are Wonderful Objects! It is very exciting and rather empowering.

The only thing holding me back now is my own retarded psychological issues about my knees dislocating. I wander off into little daydreams at times, daydreams in which I imagine my knees dislocating, and I compulsively clutch my knees, as if to protect them and stop them twisting sideways. If anyone so much as TOUCHES my knee, I'm actually frightened that they're going to twist it sideways. If I'm feeling unsteady on shoes, on a bridge, or down a crowded walkway, I am frightened that somebody is going to knock into me and that my knees will dislocate. Obviously, this is not an issue that one goes to see a therapist about. Clearly, as I improve my knees, my little issue will disappear as well. But still, I'm just sayin'. None of this is easy for me!

The things I do for my singing career...

Speaking of my singing career, I've received a letter telling me that my application has deemed me eligible to compete for the first round of the Australian Singing Competition next month. Thank God, too. What a rigmarole that application was. Took me hours to complete and it still wasn't very good. I'm very excited. I am not so excited that I have already worked with two of the performers on the panel, however. They will be a lot harder to impress...

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Girl Talk

I have to say (and I'm sorry if there are any boys reading this, which I sincerely doubt) that, for me, having my period SERIOUSLY messes with my diet.

1). I become bloated. I put on about a kilo of water, and I feel fat, and my jeans are stretched to breaking point, and I just feel gross.

2). I want to eat EVERYTHING IN SIGHT. I am RAVENOUSLY hungry.

3). Chocolate is no longer a treat. It becomes a NECESSITY.

4). Bad moods. Although I have mostly counteracted the horrible PMS that I used to get (uncontrollable, wildly emotional mood swings which caused me to think that the world was out to get me and therefore make irrational decisions which left everybody bewildered for a week), I still experience mood swings that result in becoming cross at everything. Are you breathing loudly? Did you leave a crumb on the bench? Did you not unload the dishwasher? Did you get to go shopping while I was stuck at work? DIE. DIE, BITCH, DIE.

5). Period pain. All that abdominal pain is horrendous and makes me regret all of the food I consumed in points 2 and 3.

6). Migraines. Every single period, it becomes Migraine Season for me. I don't necessarily get one (though I usually do), but I suddenly become super-sensitive to light, have a vague headache the entire time, feel very faint most of the time, and start panicking every time something imprints on my retina and resembles the blurred vision of migraine-town.

All of these reasons combined together create a horrendous period experience, and one which makes dieting nigh impossible.

So I have decided!


I will be sensible...

.. but if I want pasta, to hell with it. I WILL HAVE PASTA.

Friday, May 29, 2009

A big fat sausage

My housemate just came in and told me that she has been lusting after sausages in bread with onion after seeing them advertised in a suggested recipes section of a Coles catalogue three weeks away, and is therefore in the kitchen satiating her appetite now. Haha. Love it. And she's making me one. Even better. Working 7-4 on Saturdays means that I miss out on the Salamanca Market! Bratwurst sausage fail!

There have been large gaps in my days lately where I haven't eaten and have consequently gotten a really big headache. Aaaaaaaargh. Then I eat, and the headache goes away for a little while, but comes back to punish me anyway. IT IS SUCKY. I think maybe this means that I need to eat every couple of hours, even if it's just something small. Learn the lessons, Pam.

Lucy just delivered me the sausage. OH, love.

Monday, May 25, 2009

Who knew? Dieting is great!

Current weight: 106.1 kg


I've lost a total of 9.1 kg since starting this big diet kick. And you know what? It's no longer just numbers to me!

I've started to FEEL it!

Clothes no longer fit me quite as snugly!

My jeans do not slip down as I walk!

My muffin-top has shrunk!

My thighs feel a little more svelte and a little less tree-trunk!

This is wonderful!


At the hairdresser's today, I was reading one of those trashly weekly women's magazines, and they had a big special on the contestants who've been on The Biggest Loser, and how they're doing now, x amount of months/years on since they first lost all that weight. What an inspiration. Wow. Those guys are doing so well! I was looking at some of the "before" photos, thinking, "Yeah, I'm that big..." and then looking at the "after" photos, going, "WOW! I would never have thought that they could be that thin!" This whole time, I've kind of been a bit disbelieving that I could ever be SLENDER, just less podgy. But it's true! Some of these girls were huge! Massive. And now they're tiny! Healthy tiny. It's really awesome. I'm impressed!

Have been trying hard to stick to my Spoonlight diet. (That's the Karl Lagerfeld diet designed by Dr Jean-Claude Houdret). SOOOOO not keen on the protein sachets. Protein drinks taste gross. So I'm not doing that part of it. But I'm doing the rest! Avoiding all the carb-heavy foods and compensating with other things.

The best thing about this diet so far has been the re-education that my body has gone through in discovering what portion sizes really are. I have learned to eat more slowly, concentrate on what I'm eating, and replace foods that make me bloated and more hungry with satisfying foods that are healthy. Isn't that boring and wonderful all at once?

I can have one square of chocolate and not want more.

I can eat a bowl of vegetable soup and feel totally stuffed.

I drink skinny milk and revel in the non-bloatedness of it all.

I have swapped pasta and rice for broccoli and carrots.

I have swapped white bread and jam for multigrain bread with Vegemite.

It feels GREAT.

I'm just so surprised! I thought dieting was boring and unfun and that I'd hate every minute of it, but I DON'T. I'm turning into one of those annoying happy dieters who tell you every aspect of their dieting successes and triumphs. (Sorry.) It's a commitment to living a healthier lifestyle, and I'm really enjoying it.

Do it! Do it today. You won't regret it. You'll feel so much better about yourself in the long run.

Have a great week!

Monday, May 18, 2009

Mid-May weigh-in

Forgive me, Blogger, for I have sinned.

I have been busy!

But I am back! I have been keeping track of my weight, etc, so now I would like to announce what the current standings are (brought to you by WeightWatchers Australia and The Karl Lagerfeld Diet Book), with total losses in parentheses:

Weight: 106.6kg (-8.7kg)

Dress size: 18 (-2)

Arms: 34cm (-1cm)
Hips: 121cm (-4cm)
Bust: 116cm (-4cm)
Waist: 102cm (-5cm)
Thighs: 71cm (-0cm)

Going well! Excited!

Flatmate just cleaned out the fridge. Apparently it was an unholy mess of crap in there. I bought an 18-can box of Diet Coke. Yummmm. Karl Lagerfeld is totally into Pepsi Max. Raves about it. It's not bad. I tried it at work. Rather sweet. All these carbonated drinks leave me a bit bloated... but that's probably good if it means that it fills you up without needing food, right? Right!

Anyway, better continue with my day.

Happy losing!


PS. You know how I was rewarding myself with The Princess Diaries books? Well! I am such a retard. I accidentally skipped book 7. AND DIDN'T NOTICE. No, didn't notice until I got the end (CLIFFHANGER) of book 8. I was reading book 8, thinking, "Hmmm... don't really remember who this J.P. character is... Must be that activist dude that Lilly was into, though I thought his name was something else... Eh." Turns out he was an entirely new character! And I just accepted him without question and kept reading! I went to a bookstore yesterday and emerged with NO Princess Diaries because I simply could not make up my mind about whether I wanted book 7 or 9! I could've bought both but then I would be faced with the dilemma about which one to read first! Satisfy my need to know what happened, or go back and read the one I missed???!!!??!!! ARRRRGH! Plus, Angus & Robertson sells them for $16.99 and I feel sure that the Hobart Bookshop sells them for $14.95. And I am stingy.

PPS. In other news, The Mediator series by Meg Cabot is totally awesome.

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Weight-loss buddies

Just had coffee with my mate Marissa. She's on a weight-loss kick too! She was telling me all about the CSIRO Well-Being Diet. Sounds like the Karl Lagerfeld Diet. We're going to keep each other motivated.

I really do want to go swimming. Marissa suggested a swimming class. Thinking caps on... Maybe we could go TOGETHER. OH, what a stroke of GENIUS.

I just drank an entire pot of tea with Muz. A large one. I ran out of milk for the last two cups, and they were very strong. Have discovered that I don't like "plain" tea (it was English tea) without milk. Has made me head-spinny and a bit ill. Blech. Should've just ordered a skinny latte. Live and learn!

Something I've learnt --- Home Brand diet cola tastes just as good, if not better, than diet Coke. True story!

Uncle Karl is in the house

Yes, that's right, folks. The illustrious volume has arrived. Apparently it took so long because, judging by the postmarks, it was posted directly from France. Yes. France. How authentic.

The book comes with a poster. It's a big list of foods that are colour-coded - green for "recommended", yellow for "caution!" and red for "avoid!". It's quite amusing. I have posted it on the fridge. My housemates are a bit disgusted with it. The diet is fairly rigid. I have been trying to follow it since it arrived. Not doing TOOOOO badly with it... It fits into the WeightWatchers scheme very well indeed.

Tracking your food every day is frigging boring, by the way. I'm over it. But I shall persevere!

I would like to go swimming. I had better get myself to a pool. And I should walk more... of course. So dull, so dull. I'm dreaming of slim-fit jeans and Chanel, baby.

Friday, May 1, 2009

A surprise

One of the nicest things happened to me yesterday in quite an unconventional way. I was grilled a'la the Spanish Inquisition on WHY I'm choosing to lose weight, by a dear friend who was worried that I was choosing to lose weight purely for aesthetic purposes. He really made sure through his line of questioning that I am doing this purely for health reasons. I know it sounds bizarre but I'm actually really flattered that somebody is really looking out for me like that. Everybody else has just accepted that I need to lose weight and hasn't questioned it at all.

Let me outline my reasons for you and me.

1). I currently weigh 30 kilos more than I should. The figure was 35 kilos to begin with, but as you can see, I've had some success. I'm not going manic trying to reach my goal weight, but I am very aware that I am too heavy, even if I am built like a brick shit-house.

2). I injured my back last May. (Sneezed twice, violently, whilst bent over in the bathroom retrieving something from the floor. Managed to completely injure the second-last disc in my back. Was in bed for a week and have been doing clinical pilates to correct the injury ever since. Let's just say that I don't do things by halves.) My back still aches even though the injury is fixed. This is due to my excess weight, so my doctor tells me.

3). I have two very old knee injuries. I grew up too fast, and, out of seven possible structural problems that you can have with your knees, I have four of them. The tendon is too long, the groove is too big, the patella is too small and all of this resulted in my patella dislocating itself every time I turned around from the ages of twelve to sixteen. The patella would always go back to where it was supposed to go, but it would ride out of the groove and cause incredible pain, bleeding and swelling. It was horrendous. I ended up having two lateral-release arthroscopies, in which the surgeon tidied all the crap up in my knee and cut the other tendon in both knee, relieving the tightness that was helping to yank out the patella. As a result of this, my left knee (and the quad muscle in particular) is incredibly weak. It isn't going to get better until I can help it along by being less heavy.

4). I would like to lead a healthier lifestyle. Fresher food with less fat content. I am willing to do anything to aid my journey into a full-time singing career.

These are the reasons that I have chosen to lose weight. They've been a long time coming, and I'm happy with the decision that I have made. I don't know how long it will take me but I'm here to slug it out until it's over, and then switch into a "maintenance" mode during which I will try to keep the weight off, be healthier and more active, and ultimately, even happier than I already am!

Let me just reiterate that I am really pleased that my friend questioned me on this. I'm sure he won't mind me sharing this snippet:

The Elephant Fairy: it is kind of novel for somebody to be worried about this
The Elephant Fairy: everybody else has agreed that it is about time... hahahaha

Spanish Inquisition: well, i come from a different place
Spanish Inquisition: and i have only known u in a certain way
Spanish Inquisition: but i'm always concerned about people making such large decisions about their bodies
Spanish Inquisition: not that it's really my business
Spanish Inquisition: but many people go into "weightloss" with strictly an aesthetic intention
Spanish Inquisition: to me that is a negative approach, and unhealthy

The Elephant Fairy: oh
The Elephant Fairy: nah
The Elephant Fairy: I don't mind the way I look
The Elephant Fairy: but I do mind the way that I feel

Spanish Inquisition: ok
Spanish Inquisition: i like that set of statements
Spanish Inquisition: A LOT
The Elephant Fairy: me too :-)

God bless good friends.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Present in the mail!

I've just received a present in the mail from WeightWatchers!

"The Little Book of Make-Over Secrets"!

That is so nice! I am chuffed! I love presents in the mail!!!!!

Monday, April 27, 2009

Watch out, lazy girl coming through!

109.1 kg.


I blame this weight plateau on the LACK OF ARRIVAL of the Karl Lagerfeld Diet book that I ordered from Angus & Robertson online. It is clearly the lack of Karl Lagerfeld in my life that is causing this ... er ... laziness.

Plus, I totally axed my knee doing pilates, and my physio wants me to see a podiatrist to get new orthotics before we do any hardcore fixing of my knee because it's too weak to take my weight. (Which is a lot.) SIGH.

On the bright side, I performed at the Baha'i Centre today, and was able to fit back into my green and black striped skirt with NO dramas. Hurray!

Friday, April 24, 2009

Sick-bed food

I had a migraine yesterday. My migraines are the sort of debilitating bastards who show up right after I've gotten up, showered, done my hair, put on my makeup and spritzed my perfume. Suddenly, my vision will become unclear, and then a small patch of my vision will go on the blink, fuzzy all over, growing and growing until most of it covers my vision and I can no longer see. Yesterday wasn't quite that bad. I leapt out of bed and started getting ready when all of a sudden my vision was fuzzy and the headache started. Bloody typical, because yesterday, I was due to rehearse, have a lesson, perform in a class, go to pilates, and teach about six students. Couldn't have happened any OTHER day this week, could it?

Anyway, I just wanted to note down my virtuous yet incorrect feeling last night that, because I was sick, I could eat whatever the hell I wanted. I chowed down on peanut-butter toast, Sustagen, cups of tea, tea cake, sausages, potato, broad beans, cauliflowers and gravy, oh, the gravy. Total stuff-fest! Grahhhhh. It was great, though. Mmm. I also had paracetemol and ibuprofen. Do they count?

My hypnotherapist told me to try putting my writing hand under warm water and a cool compress on my forehead when a migraine comes, in order to shrink the blood vessels that are expanding in my head and causing the migraine. I tried that briefly but gave up and just went to bed. Because I'm lazy.

Saturday, April 18, 2009

Water, the nectar of the slim

I am not very good at picking accents. Honestly, I'll be able to pick up that they have an accent, but I can rarely pin it down to whichever country it originates from. I think that's probably a very terrible trait for an aspiring singer and I shall have to work on it. If somebody comes up to me and asks me a question with a Scottish brogue, I'll be sure to nudge Bec after it and say, "What a lovely, lilting Irish accent that was!" and then she'll take the piss. For hours.

However! There is a man who comes in to work and his accent reminds me of Leslie Nielson's accent from Dracula Dead And Loving It, so I am going to say that his accent is Transylvanian. It may only remind me of that because the customer in question looks like Dracula, but that is perhaps irrelevant. In any case, there is a man with a Transylvanian (we'll say) accent who comes in to work and frequently entertains me with his world views and flamboyant gestures. Previously a chef, he is now retired, and lives to annoy his wife (I imagine).

Recently, he came in and told me that he'd started losing 2kg a week merely by drinking water.

"Really!" said I. "Well, I'll have to up the water intake. I'm on a diet."

"ARE you!" he said, looking incredulous. (I know. I don't look like I've lost much. Shaddup.)

"Yes, I am," I said. "It's a long road."

"No, no, no, no, no, you know?" he said, with that Transylvanian (I'm convinced!) lilt. "Is not difficult, you know? You drink two litres of water a day!"

"Two," I repeated. (Mother has drummed this into me since I was... four.)

"Two!" he emphasised. "In fact, no. You are very big, very tall girl, you must drink three. Three litres of water a day!"

"Three!" Bugger that. I'll be peeing all day and all night long.

"Ja!" he said. "Three! And, you know, you avoid things like bread--"

"Oh," I whined.

"Pasta!" he warned.





"... What?"



"Very fatty, very fatty! I was a chef, I know these things! You avoid those and you let me know how you doing, okay!"

So that was a couple of weeks ago. Today, he comes in and says to me, while other customers are listening, "Have you lost any weight?" I had to laugh. From any other customer's perspective, he sounded bloody rude. "Awww," he admonished me. "More water!"

So I'm sucking down the water today, people. May it help my waistline, if not my bladder.

Thursday, April 16, 2009


Have ordered it from the Australian Angus & Robertson Bookstores website. $31.95 including postage. Better be worth it, Karl Lagerfeld; better be worth it.

Karl Lagerfeld is too damn popular

In the time it just took me to enter my credit card details, both copies of The Karl Lagerfeld Diet were gone. GONE.

Time to resort to Australian bookstore websites.

Current Statistics

OK. I found a measuring tape. Here are my current statistics, plus weight history.

03/03 - 115.3 kg
11/03 - 111.3 kg
16/03 - 112.7 kg
23/03 - 110.6 kg
30/03 - 108.5 kg
06/04 - 109.1 kg
13/04 - 109.0 kg

Total lost to date: 6.3 kg

Current measurements are:

Dress size - 20
Waist - 107 cm
Hips - 125 cm
Bust - 120 cm
Arms - 35 cm
Thighs - 71 cm

I'm off to find the Karl Lagerfeld diet book on Amazon or eBay!

My brother is amazing

Yay! My brother is a total genius.

I was just bitching to him about the stupidity of the WeightWatchers' system on the website where, after you've reached your first "goal" (an interim goal while you're attaining your big goal), you can't edit your goal weight.

He just looked at me and said, "... Google it."

So I Googled it.

AND NOW IT IS FIXED! HUZZAH! So the WeightWatchers website is aware that my goal weight is 80kg, and the progress charts now reflect this. Huzzah! I'm currently using a computer that doesn't have Photoshop on it, so I'll be Photoshopping my progress chart onto this blog when I get my laptop back from my bestie (lent it to her to minimise her boredom in hospital).


Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Unexpected encouragement

I went to my regular G.P. today to get a referral for something and, while I was there, decided to update him on my diet progress. He was STOKED. I LOVE MY G.P. He was excited for me! There is nothing more encouraging than the doctor you've had for as long as you can remember telling you that you're doing really well. I mean, he doesn't usually mince words with me. He's the one who told me that I really need to make a change, even though I'd gone to him about the same issue in the first place. I think he's been my doctor since I was three or four years old. Maybe. Ages, anyway.

On a bit of a bummer side, though, his scales are nastier than my parents' scales, and his scales read 109.0.0. Which is still really good (that's a loss of six-and-a-half kilos since I saw him at the end of February), but not quite as exciting as the ten kilos that I've lost by my parents' scales. Anyway, who cares about the number-crunching, huh? My mum has always hated the scales and reckons that you should judge your weight loss achievements by measuring things. I've never actually measured these things before but have discovered that the WeightWatchers Online Tracker has a section for measurements as well as scales readings. So I might go and get Mum's tape measure and have a bit of a measure-fest. Ain't that exciting?

In other news, I am preparing myself for winter, and have succumbed to the daggy jumper. My mum is finding me one. I had to try on two of hers. They look great on her, cos she's a mum and can pull off any colour and any design and still look good, but they made me look like a hessian potato sack. I guess I will have to resign myself to daggy clothes in order to keep warm this winter, cos I suspect that our new house will be fecking cold, despite the floor heating. Since I've been at uni, I haven't owned jumpers or skivvis, and just worn clothes with open necks and coats over the top (which has always resulted in being freezing). Mama bought me two new pairs of jeans from Jeans West the other day, which was really great. I'm in the biggest and longest size for females that Jeans West stocks, but they FIT! It's better than having to look to the internet to custom-order your jeans. My mum tried on jeans and the legs were too wide for her. Bloody mum. She's got fantastic legs and a tiny butt. And so does my youngest sister. Bitches, the pair of them.

I am printing Weight Watchers recipes for low-fat muffins and soups so that my housemates and I can constantly have low-fat comfort food on hand for the cold winter months. Hobart has already been inundated with snow, and let me tell you, it was fecking FREEZING. I was really happy to be at work on the snow days, cos I got to wear my full uniform (jumper included) and hang out next to the pie-oven in a heated store.

I haven't had a single pie since I went on my diet. I think that's a pretty big achievement!

Tarrah, dieters. May the love of Uncle Karl (Lagerfeld) be with ye all.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009


I thought that I would've put on all the weight that I lost over the Easter break, but nooooo! Apparently, standing around a labour ward and consuming nothing but Diet Coke means that you lose extra weight! I'm being careful to keep it off. Hope it works! So I'm down to 105.5! Wooooot!

I'm so excited about the layouts that Natalie has made for this blog and my other blog. SOOOO EXCITED! Love it! They're both awesome. I have always been in awe of her creative vision and eye for detail, and these layouts are of no exception. The other blog's layout is so pretty - I really like it, I think it's gorgeous. I'm currently enjoying this blog's layout immensely, though - the Karl Lagerfeld sidebars are keeping me cracked up! I just explained it to my parents but I'm not sure that they really get it.

It's currently storming in Launceston. Magnificent to watch out of the window.

Layout & Hijacking #2

Bonjour Pammy!

I figured that since I hijacked your other blog, I should not allow this one to feel left out. Have finished the much awaited Uncle Karl layout and uploaded it to your blog. You are thrilled, I'm sure. 

The header is from an Alice In Wonderland themed Vogue editorial from years ago, with Natalia Vodianova as Alice, dressed in various designers' interpretation of the Alice costume. The designers were then photographed with Alice wearing their creations, and as you can see, Karl Lagerfeld for Chanel designed that one! Isn't he magnificent? Obviously, you are now fanning yourself, gazing upon his royal hotness.

I also made you a whole bunch of Karl thinspiration graphics to go with your blog, and chucked them all in your sidebar. The Kaiser will ensure you never stray from your Weight Watchers plan again. Remember. Laser beams for eyes. Designer adamantium claws.



Natalie Faye

Monday, April 13, 2009

Oh hell, Easter

Easter has put a massive dent in my diet. And not even for the reasons that you would've thought! My best buddy of ten years went into labour on Thursday. A 33-hour labour at which I was present resulted in very little eating at all and lots of consumption of diet coke. Aaaaaaaaaaargh. Not good. I've been pretty lax over the last fortnight, actually. I've gotten sick of the WeightWatchers online points tracker. SIGH. I need to get back on that boat before I put on all the weight I've lost. Don't you love how enthusiasm waxes and wanes? But mostly wanes? It always feels like a new moon instead of a full moon. (But then again, maybe the new moon symbolises the new me, and the full moon symbolises my massive hips? ... No?)

Aaaaaaaanyway... just thought I'd update to say that the diet's still here, and I apologise for being a lazy bitch about it. I blame the baby. (He eventually arrived, by the way, and is doing fine. Hurray! God bless little babies. Etc.)

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

I woke at 8am. Had an hour-long session of hypnotherapy at 9am. Half an hour of clinical pilates at 10.30am. Now I'm sitting in front of my laptop, listening to "Woods" by Bon Iver, with my red polkadot teapot here, brewing French Earl Grey tea, two small slices of wholemeal bread with low-fat marg and raspberry jam, and a tiny chocolate hot cross bun.

This, my friends, is the life.

The sun is shining, the food is good, the tea smells amazing, and I feel so unbelievably rested and happy. Confident. Blissful. Determined that the day will be good. I think everybody should do hypnotherapy and clinical pilates. And eat raspberry jam and chocolate hot cross buns (they're probably helping more than the hypnotherapy. Hah!).

Have a good one.


Bit of a weight-gain, dudes, by, like... half a kilo. I will attribute it to the Messiah after-party in which we demolished two woodfired pizzas from Cargo, and then sat on the couch watching The Hunchback of Notre Dame while eating an entire box of Roses chocolates. Well, it was a night very much enjoyed and needed, but probably could've toned down the munchies.

I have also been extremely lazy about using the WeightWatchers weight-tracker this week so I haven't really been keeping track of points, just making wise (ish) decisions about what to eat. Fail.

The WeightWatchers website is pissing me off. I have combed it thoroughly, looking for ways to reset my goal weight now that I have reached the first goal, the 5kg goal or whatever it was. But I cannot! I can retake the initial quiz and get a new points allocation, blah blah blah, but I can't find my way back to the bit where it says "What would you like your goal weight to be? We suggest 5% first!" or whatever. I wouldn't mind so much, as the website does actually say that I'm on the way to 10kg weight loss or whatever occasionally, but then it says that I'm "maintaining" my weight instead of losing weight, and that gaining half a kilo is a normal thing to happen when you're maintaining your weight. ON MY QUIZ, I HAVE SELECTED "LOSE WEIGHT", NOT "MAINTAIN WEIGHT". I HAVE DONE THIS QUIZ ABOUT TEN TIMES IN THE LAST FRAKKING WEEK. I just don't get it. Giving me the shits.

So this week is Easter. That's not cool. I mean, it is cool. It would be cool-ER, if I didn't have to work all weekend (or at least got public holiday pay for having to work Easter Sunday instead of enjoying a nice roast lunch somewhere). The chocolate consumption has already begun. God. Terrible. I ate many speckled eggs today. I actually bought them to put on the cakes that I'm making for some certain people (chocolate nest egg cakes - adorable) but no, alas, they're all gone. Pshaw!

One of my students, Sue, gave us some chocolate hot cross buns for Easter. Isn't she a dear? Of course, now they're being demolished. Thankfully, I assigned Lucy the dreadful task of eating most of them, a task which I must say that she has taken to like a fish takes to water. Good girl, Lucy, for taking one for the team.

The idea of going swimming has been floating around in my mind for a few weeks. Ideally, I'd love to go for a swim at the Savoy Baths every morning, finishing it off with a spa bath and a massage, but alas, unless I want to part with a hundred bucks a day for the privilege, I guess I can't do that. I could go to the Aquatic Centre, but everybody there is beautiful and thin and lovely already, and I'm too slow even for the slow lane, so they tell me to go to the "other" pool, which is generally full of young people splashing each other and acting disinterested in their surroundings. Discussing last night's episode of Home and Away. And wearing full faces of makeup whilst in their bikinis in a public swimming pool. So I'm on the lookout for some other, much more private place, which doesn't cost the earth and will let me paddle back and forth up the lanes until I build up some stamina and what have you.

My dear friend has volunteered to create me some layouts for my Blogspot blogs. I have this one (you may notice that I have renamed it to be The Elephant Fairy), and I've just created one called The Fairy Soprano, which was what this one was called but I then decided to make this blog weight-loss only, and the other one for whatever I deem necessary at the time of publishing. So I'll be sure to give y'all a heads up when the layouts are up so that you may suitably admire.

I just discovered today that I can have comments emailed to me. I had wondered why I was such a loser and could never find any comments on my entries without going to each and every entry each day to check. Isn't that marvellous? I'll be able to keep up with your responses to my entries! Thank you, by the way, for commenting to encourage me. I think the road from 115.7kg to 80kg is going to be a really long one, but it's nice to know that people are on my side. I don't think I've weighed 80kg since I was 14.

Thursday, April 2, 2009

Second Thursday before Easter (Penultimate Thursday?)

I haven't been that good this week. I mean, I have been eating lots of healthy stuff, but there was a block of Cadbury's peppermint chocolate just LYING AROUND, I TELL YE. I'm currently sitting on the loungeroom floor with Elysia and her friend Steph (an artist from the US of A), resisting the family-sized packet of Arnott's biscuits.

Been to pilates all this week. Am a very good girl. Have totally angered my knee, though! I was doing these squat things on inflatable purple discs at the studio, and something in my left knee (the more common offender of my two knees, just FYI) just kind of groaned majestically, and then this SHOOTING PAIN shot through the groove, sending out little alerts all along my nerves, causing other parts of my body to spasm briefly in sympathy. (I am not kidding.) And now, at various intervals throughout the day, my knee gives a yell and stabs me (stabs me right in the eye) to remind me that it's not happy. So I have given in and booked an appointment to actually see my physiotherapist, instead of being cheap and just using her studio for individual clinical pilates sessions. (Elke Rudolph is a dream come true in the world of physiotherapists. Can't recommend her highly enough.) Damn you, rebellious knee.

I discovered something today. I don't like King Island Dairy Double Cream Brie. It has brownish flecks on the outside of it and the brie itself is darker and I thought it tasted rancid and mouldy. Marcella liked it though so I gave it to her. Pfft. Cheese connoisseur. I'm cheap with my cheese. I like tasty cheese, mozzarella cheese, plastic cheese, Kraft cheese slices, wasabi cheese, and brie. And a couple of others I've tried, but I basically don't eat them because they're too rich. Like I said, I'm cheap. Give me tasty cheese and I'm happy.

Now. Easter. Mum, I know you're reading this and I'm sure you'll support me in this. PLEASE DON'T FEED ME CHOCOLATE THIS EASTER. I would appreciate Easter gifts of... love. Love, and maybe some fancy leaf tea that I can put in my new red polkadot teapot that Marcella gave me. But no chocolate. I cannot be temped. Chocolate is an evil temptress who must be denied. She will give me back those 6.1kg faster than you can say Lindt in three different accents. And we can't have that.

Sunday, March 29, 2009

New goal reached!

Get your party hats out and your dancing shoes on! I have reached (AND PASSED) my 5% goal! That's 5% of my entire body weight when I started! And I've passed it! Blasted it!

5% goal - 109.9kg
Today's weigh-in - 108.6kg
Total weight-loss to date: 6.1kg

I'm no longer in the "More than 30kg to lose" bracket! I'm in the "More than 15kg to lose" bracket! Huzzzzzaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!

The WeightWatchers website issued me a warning about losing weight too fast, but honestly. It's fine. I think it would be unhealthy if I were still to be losing weight quickly and not dieting as hard as I have been (not to mention hauling my guts at pilates), but as I am TRYING to lose weight, and I am... surely it's fine? Guess we'll see whether I put it back on or not. Anyway, I'm very excited, and were I not sitting in bed, typing this to you all, I would be dancing down the hallway.

Big news. One of my housemates, Lys, joined WeightWatchers last night! (She must be jealous of my soon-to-be-svelte figure.) I don't think we can convince our other housemate to join us. She says she's on a liquid diet of Up 'n' Go. Haha. Did you know that one serve of Chocolate Ice Up 'n' Go (the only one that tastes any good at all) is 4.5 points? True story! Anyway, thanks to Lys, I have discovered that Cadbury's Peppermint chocolate is 2.5 points for six squares, as opposed to delicious Top Deck, which is 3 points for three squares. DEPRESSING. But also uplifting, as I am happy to make the change to peppermint!!!

I was a bit naughty last night and had a "Heart" ice-cream at the State Cinema. I hadn't had one in so many years! I had to. Lucy and I went to see "Wendy and Lucy". Apparently it's a great big statement on being alone, coping with adversity, blah blah. I kinda enjoyed bits of it but the ending pissed me off.

Anyway! Have a great day!

Saturday, March 28, 2009

Reminiscing - Gran's roast lunches

I have to tell ya, reheated vegetables at work sans mashed potato is really untasty. I'm eating broccoli, broad beans, and a selection of "frozen winter vegetables", because I devoured all the mashed spud and mashed carrot last night, and now I regret it. I mean, I like broad beans. I REALLY MISS my grandmother's roast dinners, with roast spud and roast pumpkin, all manner of other veggies but most importantly, the steamed then baked broad beans in a little triangular shaped colander thing. Oh, I miss it. Gran's roast lunches were the best thing in the entire world (apart from my mother's cooking, which is not only wonderful but free to take back to Hobart with me when I leave!), and I do miss them so. I remember how she did the lunches, because I used to go over early enough to help her serve them. I drained and mashed and helped make the gravy out of the roast pan with vegetable juices and cornflour. DELICIOUS.

I suppose it was all delicious because Gran always used full-cream milk and butter for everything. And why not? People never seemed to get so obese in those days, did they? Probably because they led really active lives, and thoroughly deserved butter and full-cream milk by the time they made it back to the dinner table from chasing sheep all day or whatever they were doing. In fact, were I to work twelve hours a day on a farm, I probably COULD indulge in roast dinners with butter and full-cream milk every bleeding day and I'd lose weight instead of gain it. How problematic for me that I will never be employed on a farm. I wouldn't really be much use on a farm. I have no muscle mass to speak of and I'm always worried about breaking my acrylic nails (which now look lovely, thank you, now that I've discovered Mona Sculptured Nails in Hobart. I do miss Bridget's beautiful, picturesque gels, but I broke my gels as soon as I looked at them - sigh).

Anyway, back to the topic at hand (though I've forgotten what I started with). Ah, bland veggies. Yes. I should've sneaked (I'm rebelling against the use of the word "snuck" for aesthetic reasons) some more of that potato salad dressing out of the fridge, just to use as a bit of a flavour creator on these reheated greens. Or made some gravy. I have been using Gravox powder in the leftover oil/juices of whatever meat I cook (no doubt very unhealthy), whisking it just in the pan, and mixing it in with the water from the potato and carrot pots. Hell's bells. Bloody delicious. I am the master of gravy now. I even taught my fabulous non-cooking mate Mikey to make it for me the other night while I was otherwise busy making biscuits. Got him to drain and mash everything, and create a lovely gravy. He'll be a wonderful cook, I can just see it. He may not see it, however, but I'm optimistic.

Back to work I go. Glad I could unload about the joys of my tasteless lunch.

Friday, March 27, 2009

Horrible day

Horrible day at work. Well, it wouldn't have been so bad if I hadn't gotten into fights with customers over things they were doing wrong. Anyway, long of the short of it is that I WANT TO EAT A PILE OF MASHED POTATO WITH GRAVY, FOLLOWED BY CHOCOLATE ICE-CREAM WITH CARAMEL TOPPING AND SPRINKLES. But I guess I can't. Hmm. Dieting sucks.

Singing is hard work

My back is freaking killing me. That is all.

Oh, and I skipped pilates today in order to get in a longer singing lesson in which I was mercilessly tortured with Handel. MERCILESSLY, I TELL YE.

But, on the bright side, I have eaten basically NO points today, thanks to my vegetable consumption. Does this mean I can reward myself with ice-cream, or do that undo all the good work? Damn.

Thursday, March 26, 2009


I made dinner and decided to spice it up a little by shaking a bit of pepper over it. I couldn't see the pepper coming out so decided to keep shaking while I moved closer to see it falling. Should've just looked at the dish. Moron. Spiciest dinner I've ever had.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Marcella, My New Favourite Friend

Marcella just came over for a cup of tea (French Earl Grey, from Jefferson's) and she brought berry friands from Jackman & McRoss. Score. I like friends who bring baked goods. I will have to tell Alex The Cellist about the French Earl Grey tea. I'm sure he will be suitably impressed, being the tea connoisseur that he is.

Lucy and I had an amazing lunch at The Nook cafe today. Total yum. I had a "tropical wrap", which ended up being this pita bread, toasted with pineapple, beetroot, carrot, cheese... so good. Except beetroot goes everywhere! I had a pool of beetroot juice on my plate. Messyyyyyy. Otherwise, I'm sure beetrooot would be everywhere, as it's v delish! People clearly can't cope with the pool of beetroot tears that end up on the plate. And the fact that it stains your mouth and hands pink. Hmm. Actually, beetroot is high-maintenance. 

I don't feel like snacking. This is a good thing. Lucy is still defeating big dragon things on her PlayStation, so Im watching that from the couch. She's playing Spyro. Elijah Wood voiced Spyro in this, and Gary Oldman voiced some other dragon thing, so it's SUPER COOL. Occasionally I giggle when I hear him going, "Aaaaaaaaaaaaagh!" as Lucy's Spyro tumbles off yet another cliff. And he makes grunting noises. This is high-quality entertainment, I tell ye. Anyway, back to this serious business of lifestyle revamping.

Perks of Pilates

My favourite thing about attending pilates sessions at Lansdowne Physiotherapy & Clinical Pilates in West Hobart, Tasmania, is chatting to Lynne, one of the receptionists, about jewellery. We can chat about that for the WHOLE time that I'm supposed to be working my ass off upstairs in the gym. Well, really. Priorities! Bonding over jewellery is much more important.


Overall today, I ate six slices of bread, two eggs, a glass of juice, 1.5L of water, ham, cheese, a gin cocktail and a Kit-Kat. It's well within my points allowance for Weight Watchers but I am just not sure that it's all that healthy.

On the bright side, I did do thirty minutes of intense clinical pilates, and three entire hours of singing (whilst employing lots of abdominal muscle action) so maybe that's OK. Ehhhhh.

Off to bed to continue reading A Series Of Unfortunate Events, as I am yet to purchase the fifth book in The Princess Diaries series. I decided that children's literature would be my "reward food" and "secret stash", instead of chocolate and all those new varieties of Tim Tams that the bastards at Arnott's have brought out just before Easter. Yes, instead of jamming my little gob with Tim Tam after Tim Tam, I am having baths and relishing Princess Mia in the ninth grade with a delicious senior boyfriend called Michael Moscovitz. And I'm loving it. It's better than chocolate! Is it? I think maybe it is. It's working, anyway. 

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Hi there! Welcome to my new blog.

This blog is for me to document my weight-loss journey. I know! How boring! Boring to you. But not boring to me, I guess, as I'm the kind of girl who needs constant reassurance and motivation. The thought of me fitting into size twelve jeans alone is not motivation enough when there is a family-sized block of Top Deck in the pantry. 

I'm a young lyric soprano working toward a career in opera, oratorio, recitals, recording -- you name it, I probably want to do it. I'm a hard-working lass, and I try very hard to be the best that I can be. I am currently a teacher of singing to my small flock, and I love nutting out what makes a good vocal sound with each and every one of them. 

If you're on the same weight-loss journey that I am, feel free to keep in touch. We all need inspiration, encouragement and support as we try to resist the almighty Maltesers in this life.